Boner Bonus

found myself waking from sleep with some sort of an erection. This is such good news that I’ve decided to write about it…

One Day At a Time..?

I have been one of those vulnerable people, and am now starting to fight harder against being exploited any more. When I see porn depict acts such as those I’ve described, I find myself thinking “where is the love, the trust and the vulnerability in what I’m seeing?” and the answer is simple: there isn’t any.

Suspension of Disbelief

An exception to the rule of delayed gratification is masturbating to porn. When you edge, keeping yourself on the point of orgasm for so long that it almost hurts, waiting to find the exact combination of factors that will bring you to orgasm, you are causing untold harm within your brain. Kept in such a state artificially, your brain begins to get used to being that way, and an ordinary orgasm becomes, well, an anti-climax.

Anger Management

majority of the feelings I had were ones of fear, anxiety and stress, and without any means to reduce that stress, without the bond to my parents that would have allowed me to seek comfort for my distress from them, I found my own solution.

Sunday Supplement

Now it seems much more obvious; having internalised the idea that no-one was coming to my rescue, I sought whatever would produce a good feeling, whatever would give my developing brain the shot of dopamine that it needed to make me feel that everything was OK, even if everything wasn’t OK.

Old Wounds Don’t Heal…

Today’s blog entry comes with a confession, that once again I found myself lapsing when left alone. It seems pretty evident to me that being left alone is a cue for my urge to PMO, one that is really difficult to eradicate completely, but I have to try. However, something did happen as a result

Growing Pains

Maybe I need to wear the title of ‘former addict’ properly and accept that I simply need to tick off one day after another, reminding myself at the end of each day without using porn that I have grown a little stronger and grown a little more as a person by making the right choices each day

Not So Super, Man

oftware, and that in turn means opening the door to the easy availability of the very thing that hurts me; it’s my very own Kryptonite, and it’s making me feel crap tonight.

Compulsive Viewing?

ithout porn, but I’d prefer to reframe that and think “what else in my life have I missed out on because of porn?” It’s time to try and find out the answer to that question, rather than have an even bigger list of regrets to look back upon in years to come.

Turning Away

For anyone on the same path that I am on currently, seek help in the right places. That may well mean therapy. It’s not a cheap option, by any means, but this is your life you’re talking about, right? Your one shot at being on this earth. Are you going to continue wasting it, hurting people, hurting yourself? It’s a tough route to take, for sure, but self-improvement is the best investment anyone can ever make. You can gain skills and qualifications, but changing the way you think, the way you behave and the way in which you subsequently treat others as a result is potentially the best thing you can do. Sadly, it often takes reaching a point where you realise you caused a great deal of harm before you can begin to turn things around, but it’s never to late to try because, hey, it’s only the rest of your life, isn’t it?